I’ll be giving up my phone as a bit of a social expirement/cleansing. I will be using a simple phone to communicate and work very hard on in person conversation. It’s time to become part of the world, the living breathing world. I speak so much about living life, but a good portion of it, is through my phone screen. It’s time to go out and be one with the universe in a psychical and mental sense. While it may be an adjustment, it will be a relief. Gone will be the days of waking up to the latest gossip, drama or insight. Truth is, I don’t care. I love my friends, my family, but their life isn’t mine. Time to go live in the present.
Tonight I told the truth. The whole truth and it was terrifying. I feel like a new person, a new and imperfectly perfect person. I said all the ugly nasty things floating around my head and it’s wonderful. I feel great. I am happy and content. No, everything is not perfect and nothing will ever go back to what it was, but that’s okay. The world won’t end and neither will I. It’s time to start my next chapter. No more talking about it, more doing it. The tree will keep blossoming, the wind will keep blowing and I will keep living. The world is mine and now I’ll seize it. In the honest way.
You say you want access to the thoughts running through my pretty little head.
What happens when you can’t stomach them?
When they fill you with shame, hatred, lust?
Where did your faith in pretty girls go?
Peek on in, do you like what you see?
I’m a whore, a liar, a cheat
I’m a con artist, a chameleon
I am not real.
Tell me, are you still there?
Shall I continue?
How many men have I trapped, seduced, set aside?
How many nights did we sip scotch while your wife was away?
I fucked you, and I ate your soul. I am your desire.
So see? You told me you wanted access to my pretty little thoughts, in my pretty little head.
How fucking pretty am I now?