I’ve mentioned the idea of lying before now but thing is, I am the one doing the lying. I am the one being sneaky and underhanded. I am the one who holds all the cards, its a royal flush baby. My lies are pure gold and they get gobbled up like PEZ. Sometimes we lie to protect, sometimes to help ourselves and other times just to bullshit. The problem is, the liar doesn’t really feel the sting until they are the ones being lied to.
Ya know, I was going to make this hypothetical but then I realized, shit that is just one more misguided truth. Here is the deal: My boyfriend lied, big time. This isn’t about sympathy or calling him a bastard, because he isn’t. He just lied and I of all people, get that. We have been together for awhile now and in recent conversation I said “hey babe your birthday is soon you will be 29.” and there was a pause, I stand corrected, there was THE pause. So he tipped his head and kind of just looked at me, followed by “Well, actually I will be 34…” Oh boy. There goes the wind, right out of my sails. Good Lord Almighty, I was creeped out to the umpteenth degree. He rushed on to to say he didn’t want me to see him differently, and yada yada yada. I just kept walking, tuning him out and calculating the age difference in my head, which mind you, had just jumped substantially.
All in all, I was hurt and angered that he had blatantly lied to my face, how could he hide something so large? What else was he hiding? If he genuinely cared about me, where was the honesty? These questions looped through my head like a perverse soundtrack. Eventually I shook off the weird vibes looked at this man and knew I could forgive him and move on. But the kicker is this: for once in my life I was able to step out of my own selfish shoes and look in on how the people around me felt.
Lying hurts, it hurts to be lied to. It is deceptive and sneaky and sometimes we don’t even catch ourselves doing it. I certainly have been known to fabricate things, that quite honestly didn’t even need the touch-up. So karma is a bitch, poetic justice even. I guess my point is, we don’t fully understand the ways in which we hurt others, until we get hurt.